Boteroooooh that's a lot of hair....
Is beercasual a thing? Is this the future liberals want? (@dontdrinkbeers)
I absolutely hate cotton candy (DON'T @ ME) but this is very beautiful please watch.
Next time you won't be so fast to say "maybe next time" when I want a Snack Wrap, huh, bitch?
Bitch wtf is your problem? I'm proud of my ethnic hair growth leave my damn upper lip alone and fuzzy. I'll shame shave it later, damn.
Just a reminder that people have always been the worst 🤗 (@memesvilleusa)
Whoms good boy is this?
Just wanted to show off my amazing shirt from @burgerandfriends. If she don't fuck wit the The Oneders then she's too young for you. I think Shades was my first real life crush. Update: Shades is still a sexy ass daddy. 😎 2nd update: they're all sexy daddies.
What's the best, non violent way to kick a Nazi's ass? Well, I'll tell ya! It's by donating money to causes that oppose alt-right ideals. For the rest of the month I'll be matching donations you make to the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) and to Black Lives Matter (BLM) up to $500. I wish I could give more but this is what I can commit to right now! Donate as much or as little as you can to show thos
If you fucks heavy with Kitchen Nightmares (and I do) then you'll probably think this is some of the finest literature of our time (swipe left bb!)
Bless you @dannypellegrino for making this and bless you @bobsdiscountfurniture for showing this to me and sharing in my love of all things @reba! P.S. I'm a solid 6 this week.
Me to Kris and Kendall as they destroy White Supremacy one Pepsi at a time: you're doing amazing sweeties (@hustlecrowe)
Sleeping so damn soundly on my pillow of love and tolerance. Hbu??? (@tank.sinatra)
Yooooo what the FUCK is going on (@shitheadsteve)
Feel free to go ham in the comments but don't come at me with your "tolerate my intolerance" brand of bullshit. Oh, and if you're a racist fuck with a profile pic of yourself holding a fish then what happens to you here in these comments is beyond my control. (Swipe left!)
Where 👏🏽 is 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 lie 👏🏽 and 👏🏽 also 👏🏽 where 👏🏽 is 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 meth 👏🏽 I'd 👏🏽 love 👏🏽 a 👏🏽 little 👏🏽 pick 👏🏽 me 👏🏽up 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 current 👏🏽 state 👏🏽 of 👏🏽 our 👏🏽 country 👏🏽 is 👏🏽 fucking 👏🏽 depressing 👏🏽 (@therealmikefred)
Even when I had a hot bikini body I still hated summer. It's the worst season! My tiddies be sweaty, my taint hair be perma wet, my eyelids are greasy, and my thighs stick to every damn thing. It's awful. Maybe other people like it because they don't live in Miami, FL but I dunno. I just HATE being hot. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? I choose too cold every time.
I'm going to be busy for 13 seconds bc I'm THAT GOOD BITCH (video by the magical @chrissydhk) (turn your sound on, ok?)
Best usage of this guy ever. Bravo. (@b3pis)
You ain't a 90s kid unless you know the pure joy of peeling a nice pair of wax pants off your lover and exposing their butthole. (@prozacmorris_)
#tbt to the time @prozacmorris_ took a photo of me in a glory hole at work. (We worked for @theofficialbangbros at the time.) For a fun treat zoom in on the writing on the walls. And also check out the very clean floor and industrial bottle of lube with a pump dispenser! Don't worry I burned my shoes after exiting the hole (but not before I licked them clean.)
One time I was in an elevator in Pittsburgh and I looked up and there were 4 fake French manicured nails stuck to the ceiling. I think about those nails a few times a month.
Whenever I'm hungry I look at @grilledcheesesocial and drool over sandwiches I can't eat (bc they're beautiful and cheesy and my goddamn monster spawn can't digest cheese in my breastmilk) but anyway here is something I think about every day: a churro piñata. That's all.
Sorry I ended a meme with a preposition like some kind of asshole but shoutout to my stepmom's gorgeous sitting room (not pictured) that had an alarm on the couch so if you tried to sit on it it would start ringing. I think it was for the cats but we didn't have any cats so...
Yo I do not fuck with the vision when it comes to zoos. They ain't cool wit me and they don't even let u pet any of the animals like WTF AM I HERE FOR BITCH LET ME KISS YOUR DAMN LION!!!!
I was really geared up to get my summer body in 2018 but since we're all about to die I'm on my way to Taco Bell where I'll be purchasing $790 worth of Crunchwrap Supremes and Airheads slurpees and I'll be blending them together and subsisting off those until Kimmie Jong Jong nukes us. (@youvegotnomale)
Wowowowow face app is the most racist app I've ever seen but also WHY DO I LOOK SO MUCH LIKE A REAL MAN??? Please DM me yours I wanna see. Edit: omg you guys I'm crying your FaceApps are SO GOOD HOLY SHIT
I am a 30-year-old woman and I sleep with my head barely peeping out of a duvet cocoon I make to protect myself from ghosties. It's important to cover the back of your neck and your toes bc those spots are most vulnerable to goblin grabs in the night.
Woooooow this is incredibly interesting information. I'm glad I'm unable to point out the location of Guam on a map of just Guam yet I know what a peanut mascot's car is named. Doing great in life. A+. (@bswardell)
Dang let your daddy live and comment on sex robots if he wishes! That being said, when my dad first got Facebook he thought he was DMing a friend and he wrote something v truly horrifying about butt sex and accidentally posted it as his status. So....
So fuggin dumb
Honestly i am v bored of depression memes and I'm just posting this bc of the great usage of the finest movie of all time "The Craft"
Hey everyone I don't usually post personal stuff bc I know you're here to see memes but it's #worldbreastfeedingweek and I wanted to show you this photo I took with my son when he was a week old. Breastfeeding is a full time fucking job and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. It's the most natural thing in the world but it's something that takes talent and perseverance. Both mom and baby have t
Um excuse me this is the best invention ever. My ladies be getting real WET after the shower and I'm trying to get ready and they're not cooling off and the boob heat is bringing my internal temperature up and before you know it i am hella agitated and stuffing tshirts under my titties. But this is literally a towel for your boobs. @tatatowels makes it and I learned about it from @htblo and I'm re
Woooooow fucked up if true!!!!
This is my ideal child and I hope my son grows up to be just like him.
"Will your mom be joining us?" and "you've got something on your face" are my contributions. What's yours?
🤔🤔🤔 (also TF is M&M doing in this pic? Emceeing a game? Ref'n some piggie skin toss?)