Come get sum of this Jambalaya. We added a Third Show in New Orleans. Sept 29 link in my bio 👆
Dudes with beards be knowing me.
I hope everyone's Valentines Day is full of love and joy! Remember, there's someone for everyone! #valentinesday Repost @showtimetharaptor
What the fuck is happening? 😩😩😩 By the way if you want to support black people in film, any time is a good time to buy tickets to see them in any film. 👍
A new episode of #YourMomsHouse is up now. #WildTits
I'm coming to West Palm Beach. Tickets on sale at TomSegura.com/tour or try using the link in my bio 👆
Hahahahahaha 💀💀💀 #Repost @sobtvnetwork ・・・ No Chill at all !
I'm coming to Brea in August. TomSegura.com/tour for tickets or use link in bio 👆
I mean, they could have tagged me? #Repost @9gag ・・・ Tell that motherf*cker I appreciate him. Follow @9gag
Just...holy shit! #Repost @davepaulo_tattooartist ・・・ Joey Diaz comedian @madflavors_world for Trevor done at @theravenandthewolves :) #realisticpopart Powered by #intenzeink #intenze_products #intenzetattooink #dermalizepro #h2oceanproteam #h2oceanaftercare #electrumstencilprimer #cheyennesafetycartridges #lvxlight #joeydiaz #inkedmag #thebesttattooartists #theratpack #tattooed #tattoosocietyma
I just heard Jóhann Jóhannsson has died at 48! Amazing composer. When I saw Sicario in theaters I was in love with the film, but above all else the score blew me away! I immediately bought it and listened to it over and over. Incredible when music can move you the way some film scores can. I was telling everyone about it. "Go buy the soundtrack to Sicario and then listen to it as you do your daily
Look at this cute little fat ass baby. Pants all high on him like a 65 year old man.
I'm coming to Spokane in may. TomSegura.com/tour for tickets
I'm not gonna lie - I'm interested and definitely going to inquire. What do you think @garyowencomedy ? 😂😂😂
Foreign Accent Syndrome. #DISGRACEFUL #Netflix 😭😭😭😭😭
I co-sign on @marcmaron's assessment of people who engage in kinky/fetish play.
"I'm Blake. I work for Tom." PS - these people don't have my phone number. It's just an app to read emails on.
I'm dumb. What I originally posted as a Ultra Boost was a Pure boost which i have since corrected. @adidasoriginals @adidas also sent me an Ultra boost and a shell toe. Those that told me were right. The ultras are heaven 🙌🙌 #3StripeLife Also, Fuck Nike.
The great @marcmaron joined us this week and he was amaze.
I talked cars and comedy with Spike and Zuckerman! Great time. Check out Spike's Car Radio. #Repost @spikeferesten ・・・ Comedian Tom Segura joins Spike in studio to talk about his new Netflix special "Disgraceful", his infamous Lamborghini story and the hilarity of foreign accent syndrome. Also listener questions answered and a “review” of Zuckerman's new BMW 1M. http://bit.ly/2nG56UY #podcast #po
Go get that new #YourMomsHouse with @marcmaron right now.
Pretty terrifying. #Repost @lememe707
Y'all a bunch of Ho's
Yes, @adidas sent it for free, but No, I didn't have to say anything about it. These Pure boosts are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. I'm about to go online and buy some in other colors. If you walk by a shoe store, try these on and tell me if you're not on board so I can block you 😩
This was the most fun I've ever had with this.
Hahahahah @the_creative_ape you nailed it
I'm coming thru C-bus. Come see your boy. O-H Tickets at TomSegura.com/tour
I'm good at giving nicknames.
My favorite game is pretending to be an employee of me when I get hate mail. Hahahaha
Tickets are on sale now for WEST PALM BEACH. August 24&25. Link in my bio to get them 👆
"I told you they were bad today." #Repost @richthephotoman1 ・・・ 😩
The Louisiana bit, cut down for time restrictions on instagram, from Disgraceful on Netflix.
Oh shit, the Build The Wall (around Louisiana) shirts are lit and shipping. Link in my bio to get one (or a bunch of other gear).
Yooo shout out to @adidas @adidasoriginals for the gear. I'm a team player and will rep that 3 stripe life always. Fuck you @nike! #PersonOfInfluence 😂😂😂 Watch DISGRACEFUL on Netflix If you haven't yet.
Just added a few shows in Omaha. TomSegura.com/tour for tickets.
Gettin Billy Burr fired up is the best!