Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 21
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We had some trouble yesterday with the code but fixed it so we are extending the sale thru today. It's on all times: Bikes! Stanima, signed albums etc. use the link in my bio to get to the store and the code SUMMMER10 for the discount

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 21
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He ordered dessert and put the "share" bowl in front of himself so I get to stay sugar free at least.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 21
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This fucking guy ate 85% of his steak and is saying how disappointed he is. Asked for ANOTHER steak. Animal

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 21
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Here's the guy. Kinda weird. Asked for extra bread

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 20
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Excuse me @tomhanks did you get a clean bill of health? #nyc

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 20
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Women (ugly) are now welcome to respond to the dinner in NYC invite. Please be over 190lbs and bark when you talk.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 20
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Had a great time with these hilarious dudes on #DumbPeopleTown. Check it out on iTunes. My new favorite podcast.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 20
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A dad always needs to be prepared. Need to read something? Check! Sun is glaring in your eyes? Check! Don't worry about a thing, guys. Dad is here.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 18
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Australia, get it together. I'm coming to your country for 4 glorious shows. TomSegura.com/tour LINK in my Bio. *Please excuse this promotional photo. It was taken a year ago before I lost a bunch of bert.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 15
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Excuse me @martinriese, have you ever indulged in this? Just delightful, if you've never had it.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 15
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Porsche Driving Experience is fun as shit especially when you have a Killer instructor and you're willing to listen and learn. I just signed a deal and will be moving to Germany to race for Team Porsche all thanks to Zach here. #911turboS

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 14
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We just hit episode 400 of #yourmomshouse! Come celebrate with us! Baboey ChaSay Oh mu Bhole, @realchristinap?!?

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 13
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JULY 9 - Your Mom's House podcast Live at The Irvine Improv (Spermvine) link in my bio for tix

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 13
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Hope this inspires Christina to finally get the haircut I've been pushing for. #benjaminfranklin #Repost @realchristinap (@get_repost) ・・・ Thank u Peter Sanderson for this amaze shirt!

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 12
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It's crazy to see the side by side pics. I was on a downhill slide and would have surely ended up looking like Brent Kaiser if I didn't get my shit together. #Repost @johnwhitehere (@get_repost) ・・・ Tom Segura is one of the funniest, hardest working most bad ass fuckin comedians ever, he also lost a ton of weight​ and is lookin Amaze which inspired me and I'm in the best shape of my life because

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 11
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I took this on the plane just now. It's clouds.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 11
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Another piece of history from last night in Reno. The stage and backstage area of the Grand Theater are among the biggest in the world. It's literally like 5 football fields behind the curtain. There's a plane back there - for real. There's also this weird, shed-like structure you see in the top photo. It's locked off and looks like a prop for a play or storage unit. It was built for Frank Sinatra

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 11
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I LOVE this. About a year before she died, Joan Rivers played the same venue I'm playing tonight, The Grand Theater in Reno. In the hallway of the dressing rooms artists sign the walls. She signed hers "I have NO time to paint and do all that shit" with an arrow pointing to where someone had signed and drawn something elaborate. 😂😂😂This is why I love comics.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 11
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During soundcheck the great staff at The Grand Theater gave me 4 stools to choose from. I take you thru my decision and find that my instinct about what stool comics usually choose is spot on. #Reno

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 11
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Oh shit! The beautiful Grand Theater at The Grand Sierra Resort. Tonight we're tearing it up in Reno.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 10
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T-Dot, I'm coming thru for a big show. Use the link in my bio for tickets.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 9
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Hey guys, my friend @bertkreischer AKA Burnt Chrysler feels really badly about putting back on all the weight he lost And then some. How about helping him out with some inspiration today. Maybe "Why did you gain all the weight back?" Or "How come you're fat again?" Will get him back on track. #bertisfat #tomisStrong

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 9
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I'm shooting my next special in... Tickets on sale NOW link in my bio.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 9
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September shows are all listed here. A few are almost Sold Out. Get em while you can. Link in my bio for tix.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 9
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The second leg of my #noteethnoentry tour starts today in Tucson. Tickets are on Sale Now for a bunch of new cities - Oakland, Denver, Montreal, Toronto, Austin and a whole bunch more. Use the link in my BIO or go to TomSegura.com/tour and see if I'm coming to your city.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 8
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Here I am making fitness in our new "I'm Making Fitness" shirt. True to the expression, I am also wearing jeans like any lunatic who says "I'm Making Fitness" would. Wear one this summer or to the gym. We also have women's cut Tanks. Get on your fitness kick and don't be #Fat like my friend Burnt. Use the LINK in my BIO to purchase.

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 8
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Such a fun night. So glad to have a place like the @thecomedystore. Thanks to all of you that come out and support live comedy. #Repost @thecomedystore (@get_repost) ・・・ Congrats to @seguratom on completing his first Store hat trick tonight going up in the Original, Belly, and Main Rooms! #thecomedystore #waterchamp #personalitychamp

Tom Segura @seguratom on Instagram photo June 7
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A lot of people asked for a summertime/workout shirt so we made one. It's the "I'm Making Fitness" tank. There are also women's cut tanks. Get yours and go make fitness. Link in my bio. #BertIsFat

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