I feel you dawg. #louisvuitton #supreme #Repost @streetwatcherz with @repostapp ・・・ Yoooooo
Just three absolutely great #PerfectSmiles
Couple of spics just loungin' before we head out to Atlanta. The great @carlosvcomedy is with me all weekend for 3 more sold out shows. #NoTeethTour
I'm ready to move forward as I only want the best for my country but what's fair is fair. #TrumpIsFat and the people need to remind him as often as possible. Good luck, Mr. President.
Hey @christinapaz did you know that we're in Yacht?
My tour kicks off tomorrow in New Orleans and I have an amazing tour shirt thanks to the brilliant @davekloc. The shirt is available in my store. Link in my bio. *Ill have a limited amount with me at the live shows. Thanks!
Yo #atlanticCity I'm coming. Link in my bio
Most exciting part of weight loss is this whole new wardrobe. #ShowShirt
All new #yourmomshouse tonight! #HiMommy #ThanksJeans
Prime Rib with burnt
Very honored! 😂😂😭😭 #Repost @bethany.marie1993 with @repostapp ・・・ BIKES!!! (Thanks @seguratom for the inspo & @hustlersparlournyc for the ink) #matchers #TomSegura #scaredstraight #holdmypocket
Not a warm reception for Lebron at the free throw line.
Hahaha! @bertkreischer and I sat in the wrong seats for half of the first. We moved down to proper OG seats. #tooshort
Shit is lit. Thanks Uncle @joerogan #cavs #warriors #burntchrysler
Please excuse me, Montclair, but I'm gonna cum all over you. Link In bio. #Jersey
Two super skinny guys just being healthy.
Who wore it better? #Repost @christinapaz with @repostapp ・・・ Rad Dad glasses. #justdadglassin
Our live #yourmomshouse podcast Feb 12 SOLD OUT so we added a second live show at 9pm. Link in my bio @christinapaz
Yo #Chicago my first two shows at The Vic Sold Out so I've added a third show on March 19. Tickets are on sale now and Moving. Link in my Bio
Levity Live in Oxnard all weekend long. TomSegura.com/tour for tickets. Wanna talk some shit?
OMG I was #glassin so hard I forgot to resize the video I posted earlier. Such a #dad move! I fixed it and you can #Glass it much better. Link in my bio. #JustGlassin
I'm at @levityoxnard TONIGHT Thru SATURDAY. Let's do it, Ventura County. Link in bio
Hey all, don't let @christinapaz' sour, somber 👎👎👎 personality be a detractor - She's a great comic (that is eternally dehydrated). Her #presale for #sanfrancisco is going now. Scoop those tickets. #Repost @christinapaz with @repostapp ・・・ Today only 10a-10pm presale tix for San Francisco Punchline 6/16-6/17. Use code JEANS go to thousandranch.com for link! #personalitychamp #waterchamp #imwithzi
It's filling up quick in #tallahassee - get tix while you can. Jan 23rd I'm at #FSU
All new #yourmomshouse tonight! Let's vote on who has a better personality (obvi me).
Just wrapped ep 378 of #yourmomshouse. It's straight fire! Check it tomorrow night.
This weekend I'll be doing all kinds of crazy shit at Levity Live in Oxnard Thur-Sat. Ticket link in my Bio.
I decided to shave my beard. #tomisfit
Yo Montclair, NJ I'm coming thru with new lyrics. Get tickets before they're gone. Link in my bio.
I think I'm gonna have to scoop a new sweatshirt! My friends at @xvlbrand have new custom designs out. If you regram any of their posts you can win a FREE shirt as part of their 2017 giveaway. *This is NOT a paid endorsement. I'm just a fan of what they do. #Repost @xvlbrand with @repostapp ・・・ 'The Masterpiece Collection' Believe it! Back by popular demand for a very limited time: 'Escher x XV
We also restocked the Glorious Double Pipe Classic shirt AKA DPC (a simultaneous burp+Fart) Thank you, Jesus!
Due to your overwhelming support and demand we restocked the following shirts! Many thanks. Link in my BIO *we DO ship internationally. Check out with PayPal but pay with a card once you've clicked.
Yo #Clearwater Florida, get down with me in just a few weeks. The show has very few tickets left so scoop them while you can. Link in my Bio
Kansas City, I'm on my way. See you tonight thru Sat at the Improv. Link in my bio. #Repost @improvkcmo with @repostapp ・・・ Tom Segura is here this weekend from January 5-7! #KCImprov #ImprovKCMO #LiveComedy #MostlyStories #YourMomsHouse
A lot people asking where I got the Hannibal sweatshirt I was wearing - I bought it from @xvlbrand. Check it, they make dope shit.